Chasing Impossibilities
by Dem0nFl0wer
Summary: Something is amiss in the Gundam Wing universe, and as Heero tries to find out what it is, he learns that the only constant in life is love.
1. Heero wakes up

**Chasing Impossibilities**

Odin Lowe Jr. slowly opened his eyes, blinking at the white light hanging off the ceiling. His arms brushed over smooth satin, sitting up in what he assumed was his bed.

"Are you awake, baby?" The soft, alto voice drifted from somewhere else within the house. Odin brushed his perpetually messy hair back from his Prussian blue eyes, looking for something to put on over his boxers.

"Yeah."

A chestnut brown braid sneaked into the doorframe leading out of the room, followed by a pair of violet eyes.

"Max?"

The violet eyes smiled. "The one and only. Are you feeling okay, baby? Too much sake last night? Come out and have some breakfast, it will make you feel better."

The figure disappeared, braid trailing out of view, as Odin got up off of the bed. He grabbed a t-shirt as he stepped out into the kitchen. The kitchen, like the rest of the house, was decorated in a modern design. Clean, simple lines coupled with an abundance of white and other light colors. Odin wondered why he was just now noticing the furnishings...he had lived here for how many years now? It was funny, he couldn't remember. He watched Max fry bacon on the stove, the smell drifting over to where he stood.

"Don't expect me to get you your coffee, too," Max said, "I'm already cooking you breakfast. You know how I hate to cook."

Odin nodded. Maybe the coffee would clear his head.

"You should be quick, though, or else you'll be late."

"Late?"

Max turned around from the stove to give Odin an frustrated look. "Yes, late. To your job? The one at the computer encryption company?"

"Oh yeah."

"You must have one hell of a hangover." Max walked over to where Odin was sitting, pushing two strips of bacon onto his plate with a spatula. He put the pan down and wrapped his arms around Odin from behind, nuzzling his hair while whispering into his ear suggestively. "Are you sure you don't just want to call in sick?"

Max traced his tongue around the inner contours of Odin's ear, sending shivers down the boy's spine. Odin decided that, given the way Max was acting, and the fact that he couldn't remember where he worked, it wouldn't be a bad idea. "I wouldn't be averse to it."

Max immediately stopped in the middle of massaging Odin's nipples, drawing his arms away from the warm embrace. "Good, I don't want you to burn out, you're such a workaholic as it is. I'll call your boss on my way out."

Odin blinked as Max carried the pan and spatula back to the sink. "Your way out?"

Max laughed. "Baby, you know I have a job to get to too."

"Hn."

The comment only increased Max's chuckling. "Come and kiss me goodbye."

Odin pushed his seat back, getting up to follow Max to the front door. Then Max turned around, grabbing Odin's waist and pulling him until their bodies were pressed tightly against each other. Max nibbled on Odin's lip and forced his tongue into the other boy's mouth, letting Odin suck on it for a little bit before he pulled away. "Don't miss me too much."

Odin stared at the door Max had just slammed in his face, the image of Max's lopsided grin still imprinted on his face. He wondered, vaguely, what Max did for a living.

Odin walked back into the master bedroom, shedding his clothes as he walked towards the shower. He stepped inside and turned on the cold water, letting in run down his hair and skin. He had always loved cold showers; they woke him up, helped him think. And he found that he had a lot to think about right now. His memories were an incohesive mess inside his head; they were flashes of color and movement, nothing concrete until something happened to piece them together. Hell, he hadn't even remembered he was married until he saw Max's braid through the open door of the bedroom. And now, he remembered working in a cubicle in front of a computer all day, but he couldn't remember where that cubicle was, where he was for that matter. Who was Odin Lowe, Jr.? He wondered if he often had memory lapses, than dismissed that notion since Max would no doubt have said something about his unusual behavior if he did. He finished his shower, wrapping a towel around his midsection as he made his way back to his bedroom. He sat down on the bed, opening the nightstand drawer, surprised to find it empty. He stood up, walking to their dresser. The drawers were full of clothes, meticulously folded and put away.

There was a small box on top of the dresser, and he opened it, looking through the things inside. A seashell, and Odin's mind told him it was from his and Max's honeymoon on Colony X-00198 on L1. He smiled as the memories came flowing into his head. Even though he knew the climate was artificial, it had been beautiful, the ocean a lucid blue that ran in waves towards the horizon, the sand an impeccable white softer than any silk. And the skinny dipping…Odin laughed. That had almost gotten them kicked off the resort. Odin set the shell down, picking up a postcard...it was one of those advertisement handouts, for a club called The Blue Lounge. The club where Max worked. Where he sang. A smile came unbidden to Odin's lips. When they were courting, Max had sung him to sleep at night, and he could still remember the melodious voice. It had been a long time since he had heard Max sing.

Odin closed the box, not finding anything else in there except jewelry he had given to Max as gifts for holidays and anniversaries. Maybe he should go to the club, talk to Max about his little memory lapse. Maybe they'd have to go to the doctor or something. And anyway, he'd get to hear him sing again. Odin smiled. Maybe he'd stop by the spaceport, pick up a little something for their upcoming anniversary.

* * *

__

"i know a little bit

about a lot of things

but i don't know enough about you"

A sultry atmosphere hung in the confines of the club. Cigar smoke hung between to the air molecules, making everything that much more heady and hot, and the rich, middle-aged men that formed the club's clientele lounged in plush, blue velvet booths, smoking Havanas and water pipes. Everything was blue velvet here; the walls were upholstered with it, and it bedecked the girls taking down orders for martinis and smokes. Slow, mellow piano music wafted from the stage, accompanied by the most beautiful singing voice Odin had ever heard.

__

"just when i think you're mine

you try a different line

and, baby, what can i do"

Odin sat down at the bartender, giving a nod to the bartender. Chinese guy, exotic features blending in perfectly with the simple beauty that was The Blue Lounge. He placed his order for a White Russian, something telling him that it was his favorite cocktail drink. The waiter, name Chang or something like that, handed him a glass, mumbling something about Max taking a cigarette break after this number.

__

"i read the latest news

no button on my shoes

but baby i'm confused about you

you get me in a spin

oh what a stew i'm in

cause i don't know enough about you"

Odin took a sip of his drink; he knew Max couldn't see him, he couldn't see anything in the crowd, not with those bright lights focused on him. Odin knew, he had been up there once, when every one else had left the club and Max was about to close up. They had made love on the piano that night, lights focused on nothing but them, a dark abyss every where they were not.

"Hey, Chang, you know X-00198?"

__

"jack of all trade

master of none

and isn't it a shame"

Chang stopped in the middle of polishing a glass. "Yeah, the beach colony on L1?"

Odin nodded. "You ever been there?"

"Of course, it's better than being on Earth, clear water, white sand, bright blue sky that stretches on forever."

Odin nodded. That's what he remembered.

__

"i'm so sure

that you'd be good for me

if you'd only play my game"

It was strange. He had gone to the spaceport, hoping to surprise Max with a little vacation, and they didn't have tickets. Apparently, you could only catch a shuttle out to X-00198 from the outer colonies of L1, which somehow struck Odin as odd. He wondered how they had gotten there for their honeymoon.

"Hey Chang, how do you get there?"

__

"you know i went to school

and i'm nobody's fool

that is to say until i met you

i know a little bit

about a lot of things"

Chang shrugged. "Damned if I remember. A shuttle, I suppose."

"From here?"

"Where else?"

Odin finished off his drink, waiting for Max to finish his set. He guessed they would have to take a shuttle out to one of L2`s outer colonies before buying tickets to L1.

__

"but i don't know enough about you

i know a little bit about biology

and a little more about psychology

i'm a little gem in geology

but i don't know about you"

Max finished the song to a sedate, admiring applause, before he turned around and sashayed to the backstage area. Odin got up and, with a nod to the security guard, made his way to Max's room. He opened the door, closing and leaning against it as Max stepped out of his tight light blue dress. Max turned, sitting down in a chair and crossing his legs as he lit a cigarette.

"The damn thing's too tight," he explained, "it's not comfortable."

Odin looked over the short satin slip Max was wearing. "And that is?"

Max shrugged. "It's loose, easy to get off..."

Odin let the innuendo hang in the air, crossing the distance between them to lean on Max's vanity.

"So why are you here, baby? Miss me lots?"

"That," Odin replied, "and something else."

"Yeah?" Max took a drag of his cigarette.

"Yeah. I was thinking we could take a break, get away for a while. A trip to L1, maybe, like a second honeymoon."

Max's lips spread into a sultry smile. "Sounds good. When do we leave?"

"Any time you can get off."

"Sooner's better than later, I suppose. I'll try for next week. So is that the only reason you're here?"

"Actually, no. I've been having problems lately."

Max visibly raised an eyebrow, flicking the ashes from the end of his cigarette into an empty shot glass. "Problems?"

"Yeah, as of this morning. Can't seem to remember anything. Where I work, my phone number, that sort of thing- everything, actually. But the memories come back as soon as something brings them up again."

"I see. I thought you were acting funny this morning. I guess you'll have to see your doc about that."

"Doc?"

Max opened the drawer in his vanity, rummaging through the mess until his hand reappeared, fingers clutching an off-white business card. "Doctor J, no first name, a letter for his last. Guy creeps me out, but you've always gone to him."

Odin took the card from Max's lax grip, staring at the stark, precise lettering. J...the name didn't bring up anything. "I'll make an appointment."

"Just walk in, he won't mind."

Odin nodded. "I should go now."

"You should."

Odin bent down to press his lips against Max's, but the other boy turned away slightly so that he kissed his chin instead.

"Make-up, baby, don't mess it up."

Odin chuckled slightly as he left, getting a smile and a wink from Max as the door closed. He had walked out to his car when he heard the ringing of a cell phone, and found it buried under some papers in the back seat.

"Lowe here."

"Odin?" The familiar, almost feminine voice spoke up. Odin's mind supplied a name.

"Yeah. Is this Cat? Cat Winner?"

"Yeah." The voice seemed nervous, or maybe it was frantic. "Odin, I need to talk to you."

"Sure. I'm kind of busy right now, though, me and Max are going on a trip...why don't we talk when we get back?"

"No!" Cat's voice was vehement, now, and Odin could hear his heavy breathing over the connection. "We have to talk, now, before...before it's too late, Odin."

"What's wrong, Cat?"

"I can't tell you over the phone, it's just...have you ever had a feeling that...that something's wrong? Odin, there's something really wrong with this world, I feel it..."

"Of course there's something wrong with the world today, Cat, it's called sin. Pandora's box and all that, you know." Odin knew that wasn't what Cat was talking about. He knew, because he did feel it...something just wasn't right with his life. His marriage to Max, his job...none of it seemed real.

"Odin, you have to listen to me, meet me tonight at the bar near my place, you know the one. Don't tell any one, or else they might find out."

"They? Who are 'they'?"

Cat's voice dropped to a whisper. "I don't know, Odin, but they're coming after me...because I know-"

Odin was nervous now, nervous at the sheer desperation and conviction in Cat's usually collected voice. "Know what, Cat?"

There was only silence then, and Odin knew Cat was hesitating. Finally, a low, shaky voice came on over the static.

"This world, Odin? It's a lie."

And then the line went dead.

**~tbc~**


	2. The doctor's office

  
Chasing Impossibilities  
Part Two: The Doctor's Office   
Odin waited in the cold sterility of Dr. J's waiting room. Everything was white, clinically so, and the whole ambience managed to put Odin on edge. Truth be told, he was unnerved about Cat's phone call. It was just too much considering his memory loss, and the paranoia was close to consuming him.  
  
"Odin Lowe, Dr. J will see you now."  
  
Odin got up, walking past the nurse and down a white hallway, coming to a stop in front of the only door. On gold letters in the front ran the words: J. D.D.S. Heero turned the knob and crept inside, sitting on the paper covered cot that was typical in all doctor's rooms. Soon a man in a white coat came scuttling in through another door, his back towards Odin. Longish gray hair hung in thin strings down his neck, and Odin could see that one of his arms was mechanical. Then he turned around, and Odin found himself staring into deep black lenses set in mechanical goggles, which were in turn grafted onto J's skin.  
  
"Odin, I was wondering when you would grace us with your presence. What seems to be the problem?"  
  
The doctor smiled even as Odin inwardly frowned. The man spooked him a little, and he couldn't help but think that there was something off about the doctor. "I've been having problems with my memory."  
  
An eyebrow raised over the machinery that covered the doctor's face. "Could you expound?"  
  
"I don't have it." Odin realized he had subconsciously been backing up from the doctor, so now his back was pressed flush against the wall. "What I mean is, when I woke up this morning I couldn't remember anything. It comes back to me, though, but something has to trigger it."  
  
"I see. Well, it sounds like temporary amnesia, nothing to be worried about. It was probably triggered by the stress in your life and your unstable medical history." J scribbled something on a piece of paper, handing the prescription to Odin. "Something for your stress. In the meantime, don't worry about it. Your memory will come back."  
  
Odin nodded, snatching the piece of paper and scrambling off the table, watching the doctor as the doctor watched him. He would be glad to get out of there. There was something about the way the doctor was staring at him, so intent, black eyes swirling inside those goggles, that gave him the creeps.   
  
"Is there something wrong, Mr. Lowe?"  
  
Odin realized he was breathing harder than usual, and calmed his lungs before he answered. "No. Nothing at all."  
  
The hand behind him fumbled for the door knob, eventually grasping it, and he tugged sharply on the door. He all but ran out of that room, and soon found himself panting in the driver's seat. What the hell had that been about... something tugged at the back of Odin's mind, something important, but he couldn't place it. Something that told him J was more than just his physician, that he was a far more menacing figure. And then something snuck into his head, something he had heard as he was escaping the clinic. J, whispering to himself or maybe some one else. He's remembering. The oblique statement hung in the recesses in his mind, swirling with undertones and hidden truths, and he wondered what it all meant.  
  
Calming his heart rate and coming to a decision, Heero started up his car and pulled out of the parking lot. He wasn't going to get the prescription filled. He sure as hell didn't trust J to give him medication. He was going to get Max, find Cat, and figure out what was wrong in his life. That was his final thought before another car rammed into his, knocking his head against and through the side window, and his world went black.  
  
* * *  
  
Water. It permeated his mind, the solid drip dropping of water onto metal. It was the sound of a leaky faucet, and at this point it was the focus of his world. Soon his mind started to come out of its stupor, the singular sound fading somewhat as his other senses fought for control, and he became aware of the throbbing in his head. Odin blinked his eyes open, seeing nothing but a blurry mesh of grays and blues, each blink focusing the world around him a little more. Eventually he found himself in the dreary surroundings of what must have been a run down motel bathroom. The paint was pealing off the walls, grout stained black, and dirt tracked all over the floor. Odin wondered how he got there. The last thing he remembered was the crash, and now this. He mentally checked himself, deciding he was fine, when he became aware of it. He had something in his hand.  
  
He had a gun in his hand.  
  
He dropped it instantly, listening as it clanged to the floor tiles, falling in sync with his rapidly beating heart. He pushed himself up, stumbling a little as the world spun around him, and grappled his way to the bathroom door. The clock he saw in the adjoining room flashed the time, and he realized he had just lost three hours of his life, and he had no recollection of what happened during that time span. His thoughts stopped when he saw what was in the middle of the room.  
  
Odin moved towards the bloody lump, feeling sickened even before he got there. He knew what it was going to be, and the realization made his head spin and his stomach lurch. He stood above the body, looking at the blood crusted blond hair and blue limbs. Oh god. He wondered if he had done this, if he had killed the boy, then... he saw the face. It was Cat.  
  
He scurried backed up against the wall, his breath coming in heavy pants. Cat was dead. There was a slim chance he might have been the one that killed him. Nevertheless, the police would think he was the one who killed him... he wasn't stupid, he knew the evidence would all point to him. Footsteps sounded outside the door, urgent and loud, and Odin estimated there must have been more than a few people out there. They stopped in front of the room, and Odin knew. It was the police. He ran to the window, doing the only thing he could think of to do in this situation. He ran.  
  
* * *  
  
Triton Bloom walked through the club, sighing as his assistant followed. God, this was turning out to be a bad night. He had hardly been on duty five minutes when the case came in and he was rushed to the crime scene. It had been awful. Some young kid, about his age, not even twenty, shot in the head. And all signs pointed to one of the guy's closest friends.  
  
"Mr. Lowe."  
  
The violet eyed singer turned at his name, looking Triton in the eye before smirking and moving on. Triton ran up to catch up to him before falling in step beside the other boy.  
  
"Mr. Max Lowe, I'm Triton Bloom from the police department. If it's okay I'd like a moment of your time."  
  
Max shrugged as he stepped into his dressing room. "You've got it. What can I help you with?"  
  
"It's about your husband."  
  
That got Max's attention. The singer snapped around, fixing wide cobalt eyes on Triton's green ones. "What? What happened? Is he all right?"  
  
Triton had to take a step back from Max's tangible concern, running a hand absently through his long brown bangs as he looked away. He hadn't really thought about what he expected, questioning the young man, but so much honest anxiety surprised even him. "Well... I think you might want to sit down for this."   
  
Max stumbled into his chair, gripping the side arms tightly in his hand. He chuckled a little, in a desperate kind of way. "He's okay, right?"  
  
Triton took a breath before he approached the topic. He wasn't sure how to bring it up without upsetting Max, but then he realized there would be no way he could do that. "Mr. Lowe..."  
  
"Please." He let out another scared chuckle. "Call me Max."  
  
"Max. We believe your husband is connected to a murder case we are investigating."  
  
Triton watched Max as the implications of his statement sunk in, watched as the concern quickly turned into anger. Every muscle in Max's body tensed up, his face set into an incredulous kind of glare. He ground out his response, word by word. "Mr. Bloom. My husband is not a murderer."  
  
"His fingerprints were found all over the crime scene. They were found on the gun. What we think were his footprints were found around the body. He was the last person the victim contacted before he was killed. And what's more, your husband has disappeared. An innocent person wouldn't have run. I'm sorry."  
  
Max's body sagged into itself with every sentence, his fingers fumbling for his cigarettes. "Who was the victim?"  
  
"Cat Winner."  
  
"Cat?" Max shuddered in a breath , turning his head away and closing his eyes as he processed the information. Cat was his best friend. Cat was maybe the nicest person he had ever met. Cat was dead. And Odin was the prime suspect. Max dropped the small box he had been gripping in his palm, repeating his earlier proclamation so Triton would understand. "My husband is not a killer. He would never have killed any one, let alone one of our friends."  
  
"That's for the courts to decide, Mr. Lowe." Triton stepped forward, putting a sympathetic hand on Max's shoulder. "If you're right, your husband has nothing to worry about. Either way, we need your help to get to him, and then we can prove his guilt or innocence."  
  
"Okay." Max drew himself up, still shuddering. "I understand. But what am I supposed to do?"  
  
"If he contacts you, if you get any news as to where he is, please contact us." Trowa pulled out a business card, pushing it into Max's long fingers. "Any time."  
  
Max nodded in confirmation.  
  
"Are you off work now?"  
  
"Yes. That was my last shift."  
  
"I think it would be best if we escorted you home."  
  
"Yeah, okay." Max nodded again as he forced himself out of his chair. "Just give me a moment to change."  
  
Triton stepped out of the room and closed the door, leaning against the wall as he waited. His assistant, a girl with auburn curls named Caitlin, came up to him.  
  
"Anything?"  
  
"He doesn't know anything. I'm taking him home, you guys can go back to base."  
  
"Your call, boss." Caitlin started walking away, and Triton could tell that she was displeased with how everything was going. She had been completely sickened by the crime scene, but then she was new to the job, and doubtless she just wanted everything done with and the killer in jail. She probably suspected Max of withholding information.  
  
Triton listened to the scuffle behind the wall. He didn't rule out the option that Max was lying to him, that maybe Max was helping his husband, but he doubted it. His instincts told him that Max really did believe in Odin's innocence, dubious as it may be at that point. In a moment Max came out of the room, still looking a little shaken up. He had changed out of that, in Triton's opinion at any rate, ridiculous dress, and was now dressed in a simple outfit of black jeans and a snug indigo t-shirt. Still, to Triton's amusement, he managed to look more put together than any of the sharply dressed patrons of the club.  
  
"Hungry?"  
  
"Why, Mr. Bloom, are you asking me out on a date?" Although Odin's situation was foremost in Max's mind, he couldn't help but sink back into his light, flirtatious banter. It was familiar territory, comforting almost. "I'm a married man, after all."  
  
After a short drive they ended up at a small Chinese place in between the club and Max's house. It wasn't that much of a restaurant, just a Spartan place to get some cheap food. The decorations were minimal, and bright light pervaded the small, empty space. They ordered their food at the counter, beef chow fun for Max and ginger shrimp and rice for Triton, and ate in silence while picking at their dishes with plastic chopsticks. The food, unlike the surroundings, was actually very nice.  
  
"So. How long have you been married?" Triton decided to start the conversation, something he rarely ever did. Still, he reasoned, he could stumble onto some information.  
  
"A year now, since we turned eighteen. Young, I know, but we didn't feel it then. It might have been stupid, but I don't regret it."  
  
"No?"  
  
Max grinned. "Well, not most of the time. That Odin can be a hassle to live with."  
  
"I see." Triton popped another shrimp into his mouth, teeth crunching down on the shell and legs of the thing. "Have you noticed anything unusual about him over the last few days or weeks?"  
  
"Oh, I get it now. You're interrogating me." Max smiled again, a little sadly this time. Then some kind of recognition flashed briefly in his eyes before it faded again. Triton jumped on it.  
  
"So there was something. Something he did? Something about the way he acted?"  
  
"Yes... well, no-" Max's nose scrunched up as he thought, irritated. "It doesn't have anything to do with your case."  
  
"It could. Please?"  
  
"It's just that he woke up today without any... well, memories. It's really odd, now, that I think about it."  
  
"Like what, amnesia?"  
  
"I don't really know. I sent him to his doctor."  
  
Triton sat up in his chair, recognizing a lead when he saw one and feeling extremely grateful at that point. "Could you tell me your doctor's information?"  
  
"Oh, not my doctor." Max shook his head in distaste. "The guy freaks me out. He's exclusively Odin's doctor. I don't remember much about him. He goes by the name J, just a letter, and his office is in the Riverside complex."  
  
Triton nodded. He could go on that information, could find J and maybe even Odin. "Thank you, Max, for that information."  
  
"No problem." Max folded his chopsticks in between fingers, not able to keep them still. "But that didn't mean anything."  
  
"Maybe, maybe not. If Odin was at the doctors then maybe he'll have an alibi. Of course, there may be a chance your husband isn't psychologically stable at the moment."  
  
Max lifted an eyebrow, his mouth turning downwards into a frown. "He didn't seem crazy when I saw him this morning.  
  
"You do understand, Max." Triton shrugged off the other man's indignation, not willing to address it again. He could understand why Max was offended, but he was just doing his job, and right now he wasn't sure if Max would cooperate with the investigation if Odin came to him. "If Odin contacts you, it's in his best interest if you tell me."  
  
"I know." Max frowned some more before looking up, forcing his good humor to come back. "So, you ready to go?"  
  
They got back in the car and headed out. Max watched out the window as the cityscape rushed past them, thinking about the last few hours of his life. Everything had changed in such a short amount of time. He had lost a friend and maybe a husband, and he could only hope Odin was okay, wherever he was. Triton just drove, his thoughts centered on solving the case. They were maybe ten minutes away from the house when Max broke the silence.  
  
"Hey, let's take a detour."  
  
Triton was curious at the change in mood but didn't say anything, following Max's directions instead. He parked the car in an empty lot in the edges of the city, following Max out. They walked past a bus stop and crossed a street, squeezing between two apartment buildings that were set at an angle to each other. Triton found himself in a small open space, a respite from the city.  
  
Max sat down on the bench there as Triton looked around. The ground was a mixture of grass, granite, and litter, and the stone bench set to the side of the space was very plain, rusted even. The view, though, was absolutely gorgeous. The space sat right at the edge of the water, overlooking the bay and city bridge. They could see the ships moving on the water and the cars moving on the bridge, in constant motion and life. Lights glistened on the bridge, and in the cityscape across the water, glistening off of the water.  
  
"This is where we met."  
  
Triton sat down on the bench, looking over at Max after his statement. The man looked so distraught Tritan thought he should be crying, but he wasn't. He hadn't shed a tear yet, despite his obvious emotional state.  
  
"When I was still in school I used to take the bus home. Sometimes I'd get to the stop early, so I would sit here and just look. One day, when I came, Odin was sitting here. I told him he was sitting in my spot." Max laughed a little, remembering. "We started talking, and I missed my bus. I missed every bus, actually. We were so caught up just talking that when I finally realized how late it was, the bus system had stopped working. I wondered, out loud, how we could have lost all that time. He said it must have been magic. I had smiled, and agreed. I said, yeah, voodoo."  
  
Triton didn't really know what to say, so he just waited for Max to continue.  
  
"And look." Max gasped a small, loud sound as his breathing sped up a little. "Now I have the hiccups."  
  
Triton smiled, maybe for the first time that day. "Duo, if I can help it, nothing will happen to Odin."  
  
Max's eyebrows furrowed together as he looked at Triton, a strange expression on his face. "My name is Max."  
  
Triton blinked, confused. He had known the other boy's name... and he had never met any one name Duo before. Still, the word was familiar, and it nagged at something in his mind even as he pushed it away. Max had resumed staring out into the artificial bay, curling his legs up and hugging them against his chest.  
  
"I just hope, you know." Max wasn't even looking at him now, and his voice came out so small. "I just hope that he's okay."   
  
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	3. Running

  
Chasing Impossibilities  
Part Three: Running   
Odin walked through the streets, aimless. He had avoided the police, but... now what? He was confused enough when the day had started. During the time he had spent avoiding the police he had come to the decision that some one had killed Cat and framed him, but he still wasn't sure why. His mind crept back to the phone call, to what Cat had said. So he had found out something. Odin was convinced Cat had truly known something when he called, despite his mad ramblings. And for some reason, some one thought Odin knew something too, or at least was getting close. And then, Odin's mind wondered back to J.  
  
Odin stopped, realizing he had come to a bus stop, and made a decision. He didn't know what was going on, but he knew he had to find out. He would go to Cat's house and try to look for anything that would clear things up.  
  
After a few wrong turns, Odin found himself in front of the house he recognized as Cat's. It was an elegant townhouse in the rich area of the city, and, fortunately for Odin, it was completely empty. Odin guessed that the police had already been around to look for clues, and wouldn't be around for a while.  
  
He walked around to the back of the house, stepping towards the back door. It took him a few minutes to jam the door knob open before he could get into the place. It was a mess, and something told him that Cat didn't normally keep it in such a condition. Papers were littered all over the floor, and Odin didn't even know where in the disarray he should start working. He rooted through all the papers, all the desk drawers, all the bureau drawers, but it wasn't for several hours until he was able to locate anything of relevance. He finally stumbled onto a notebook, just a plain green, spiral notebook, in the nightstand next to Cat's bed. Only the first page had been written in, and Odin sat on the bed to read Cat's strange messages where they weren't smudged.  
  
... J, G, O, H, S ... ...  
... ... machine, erased ... ...  
... lies ...  
...  
...  
... call Heero ...  
...  
... ... X-00198.   
  
Something flashed in Odin's head before it disappeared as quickly as it came, and he let the notebook fall to the bed. J was involved. So was X-00198. And he knew, somewhere, that the name Heero should be more than just familiar to him.  
  
Odin stood up, tearing the page out of the notebook and stumbling out of the house in a rush. He still wasn't sure what to do, but he decided if he wanted to find out he had to get to the beach colony on L1. And before he did he would have to talk to Max, have to tell him what was going on.  
  
The thought of Max bought the braided man to the forefront of his mind. Oh, god... Max must have heard about Cat by now. The police must have questioned him. He must think Odin a murderer now. The revelation only served to strengthen Odin's resolve; Max, now more than ever, needed to know the truth.  
  
As he ran, Odin tried to remember his last conversation with Cat. He had said something that Odin, at the time, had thought to be the strangest remark. What had he said... the world was a lie. And there it was, repeated in the notebook, with the mention of J and some machine. Images flashed in Odin's mind, almost too quickly for him to process, and he had to stop running and lean on a nearby street sign. There was a scientist. There was a huge, mechanical figure, diving in space. There was Cat, walking beside him in some kind of palace. And then Odin realized what they were... they were memories. They flashed in vivid color, and all the recollections Odin had been acquiring during the course of the day, of Max and X-00198 and the club, they paled in comparison. Something else rolled into his head then, and he realized why the name Heero was so familiar. It was his.  
  
Heero opened his eyes, refocusing on the world around him, and realized that he had stumbled onto a bench. A foghorn called, and he saw that he was looking out into the bay, bridge lights blinking above him. The cold granite and metal was behind him, and when he turned around he saw a bus stop. His mind sent him pale images of this place, telling him that this was where he had first met Max, but he didn't believe it any more. He had no doubt any more that Cat was right, as improbable as the notion seemed.  
  
This world was a lie.  
  
His relationship and life with Max was, no doubt, a lie.  
  
And the secret behind those lies had to be on X-00198.  
  
Heero got up and walked down about a block, stepping into a small cafeteria. A wall full of small cubicles was built on top of the counter, each one filled with some kind of food. Every so often a patron would come in, money was inserted into the chosen cubicle, the glass front would be lifted up, and the food would be consequently taken and replaced.  
  
Heero headed over to the telephone, lifting up the phone book and picking up the receiver. His fingers dialed over the keyboard, waiting for some one to pick up. If he couldn't buy ticket from L2 to X-00198, he might as well try to buy one from L1 before he actually got there.  
  
"Hello. L1 Spaceport." It was a generic voice, covered with so much with static that it was hard to discern even the sex of the speaker.  
  
"I'd like to reserve a ticket to X-00198."  
  
"I'm sorry, sir, there are no shuttles running to that colony."  
  
"What do you mean? Why not?"  
  
"Travel to X-00198 has been suspended indefinitely."  
  
Heero hung up the phone, mind racing. He had to get to that colony. He wasn't sure how; thinking back, he wouldn't have been able to get off of L2 by just ordering a ticket anyway. No doubt the police were checking ids at the spaceports for him. He'd have to get to the port and think of another way.  
  
But first, he decided, he would go to see Max. The other man had a right to know what was going on, after all. And even if everything they had known together was untrue, Max still believed in their love, and Heero couldn't leave him with that delusion.   
  
* * *  
  
Triton knocked on the door, not really expecting an answer. It was late, after all. He had come down to the Riverside complex after dropping Max off, hoping to question Dr. J, but was surprised when a man actually answered.  
  
"Dr. J?" Triton flashed his badge, looking over the doctor. "I'd like to ask you a few questions."  
  
J grinned, and Triton got the feeling that the other man had almost been expecting him. "Of course. Come in."  
  
Triton stepped into the clinical space, looking down in distaste as his boots tracked dirt into the perfectly white room. "You live here?"  
  
"Upstairs. But I don't think you're here to ask me about my lifestyle."  
  
Trowa nodded. "I'm here to ask you about a client of yours, name of Odin Lowe."  
  
"Of course. Odin. Is there something wrong with him?"  
  
"You might be able you help us decide that. Did Mr. Lowe come and see you today?" Triton stepped further into the waiting room, taking everything in.  
  
"Yes, he did."  
  
"Do you remember the time, approximately?"  
  
"He came in a little after noon. He left half an hour later."  
  
"What did he come to see you about?"  
  
"Stress. He was having stress problems, he was actually in a somewhat unstable condition."  
  
"Unstable?" Triton latched onto the word, recognizing a possible motive, though something about J was setting warning bells off in his head.  
  
"Memory lapses, things like that. It wouldn't surprise me if he came in to be treated for more than that."  
  
"Oh?" Triton thought maybe J's information was coming a little too easily, a little too coincidentally, but he wasn't going to dismiss it.  
  
"Yes, well, Odin's mental state was in a precarious situation."  
  
"I see. Do you think he may be a threat to other people."  
  
"Now, I wouldn't say that. Odin's a good man." J's black eyes swirled behind the glass. "Though, others in his state have come to pose threats to others. I suppose there's no telling."  
  
Triton nodded. "One last question, doctor. Did he say anything that struck you as unusual, tell you where he was going next, or anything?"  
  
"No. Nothing like that."  
  
"Well, thank you. I'll let myself out."   
  
The detective walked out of the clinic, its heavy metal door clanging behind him. He stopped once he got inside his car, slumping over the steering wheel while he assimilated the new information. After a little bit he took out a cell phone and dialed a number from a sheet of paper he had. A voice came on after only one ring, as if the callee had been waiting by the phone.  
  
"Hello?" Max answered the phone in an urgent kind of tone.  
  
"Hello, Max, this is Triton."  
  
"Oh." The singer managed to seem disappointed and hopeful at the same time in just that one syllable.   
  
"I just finished talking to J, and I wanted to warn you that Odin might be dangerous right now."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
Triton sighed, knowing that Max wasn't taking the threat seriously. "I mean that he's unstable, and might not be acting like himself."  
  
Triton could almost see the other boy's expression right now, somewhere between incredulous and worried, but Max didn't say anything.   
  
"Just be careful, Max."  
  
Triton hung up the phone when the singer didn't answer, hoping the man wouldn't get hurt in any way. Although he wanted to believe Odin was innocent, at least for Max's sake, all the signs pointed to him.   
  
J was something else, though. Triton didn't know whether to trust the strange man or not... he had gotten this strange feeling while talking to him. And J just seemed too forthcoming with just the right information. Just the right information to incriminate Odin, but not enough to make J seem suspicious. Triton wondered what role, if any, the doctor played in this case.  
  
* * *  
  
Max cradled the phone in his hand for a few moments before he realized Triton had hung up on him, then dropped it back into the telephone's base. He stood up, padding on the soft carpet downstairs. Sleep had been unforthcoming that night, what with everything that had happened that day.   
  
The longhaired boy found himself in the kitchen, and shrugged. He really didn't know what else to do with his nerves, and making a midnight snack seemed as good an option as any, so he marched to the refrigerator to peer inside. He ended up with a baloney on rye sandwich and a glass of water, and headed upstairs with his food. A sharp noise sounded from outside, breaking the monotony of the night, sounding like footsteps and the rustling of leaves.   
  
Max put his snack down and headed to the window, making it there just in time to catch a figure running out of the way. It was all too familiar to him, all slim muscles and unruly hair. Max blinked twice before moving to the kitchen phone, staring at the contraption. Triton had told him to call, told him Odin might be a threat... Max reluctantly picked up the phone. He knew Odin wouldn't hurt him, but it would be better for both of them if he made the call. It wasn't long before he was connected to the police, telling them that Odin Lowe was at his house.  
  
Max walked back into the kitchen, not too surprised to see Odin seated there at the table. He leaned against the door frame, just looking at his till now missing lover. "Hey."  
  
Heero shifted a little in his chair, looking at his 'husband'. Max was gorgeous, in an utterly masculine kind of way, even if he did wear a dress for the patrons of his club. And looking at him, Heero could see how he could have fallen in love with the boy, and could almost believe in the lie. "I didn't do it."  
  
"Okay." Max walked towards the other man, pulling up a chair so he could sit directly in front of him. He pushed his water towards Heero, offering him a small smile. "Thirsty?"  
  
"Do you believe me?"  
  
"I have no reason not to." Max reached out for his husband, pulling them together, just taking comfort in the man's tangible presence. He forgot everything about what had been happening- about the murder, about Triton, about the police. "I was worried."  
  
"I..." Heero blinked, something flashing in his mind. But it was gone before he had a chance to grasp it. He put a hand at the back of Max's head, burying his fingers in the soft hair there, just thinking about how nice it felt. He had almost forgotten the purpose of his visit, his newfound information fading to the back of his head. "I'm sorry."  
  
Their moment of piece was soon interrupted, sirens sounding outside. Heero jumped up, pulling Max with him, as he turned a confused expression on the equally befuddled boy. Then Max realized what was going on, addressing Heero with a kind of urgency in his voice.  
  
"I called the police."  
  
"What?" Heero tried to yank away and run, but was stopped by Max's hands around his wrists.  
  
"Stay, Odin, if you're innocent, stay."  
  
"I can't." Heero turned back to the other boy, prying his fingers from around his arm while trying to make him understand. "I was in the motel where Cat died, I don't know how, but I woke up with the damn gun in my hand. But I swear, Max, I didn't do it. But they'll never believe me."  
  
Heero turned and ran out then, noticing how Max's face had been set into a mask of shock before he left. Maybe the other man didn't believe him any more. Heero jumped out of the dining room window, the same one he had come in from, crouching down on the lawn before he broke into an all out run. He could hear the policemen talking on the other side of the house, even with the sirens blazing, as they made their way to the front door. Trying to check where the cops were, Heero didn't even notice when he ran into a trash can, stumbling down onto the ground.  
  
"It's him!"  
  
Heero didn't even turn at the voice. He pushed himself off the ground and started running, aware of the men who had now started chasing him. He could here some of them slamming their car doors, and could hear the sound of engines starting.  
  
Shit.  
  
There was no way he could outrun a police car. He swerved into an alley, the runners behind him only a few steps behind, a fence in front of him. He scaled it with a skill he didn't know he had, looking back to see that he had put some distance between them. He could hear them calling for him to stop, but he had only one goal now. He had to get to that colony.  
  
He ran through alley ways and backyards, parking lots and open streets, not counting the things he had to climb or jump over, losing complete track of the time. He was panting, breathless, but he knew if he wanted a chance to figure things out he had to get away.  
  
Heero stopped to catch his breath, realizing that he couldn't hear the footsteps behind him any more. He had lost them. He looked around, realizing that he was leaning against some alley. Street lights flickered just a few yards away, the street signs illuminated by the light. Magnolia and 1st. Just seven blocks from the spaceport. Heero sunk into the shadows as a cop car drove by, slowly, and he knew they were looking for him. He wondered how he was going to get there.  
  
Heero looked out of the alley way, running across the street when he saw the coast was clear, hiding back into the shadows. His heart was racing so hard it was the loudest noise in his head. It was getting to the point where he could barely hear the sirens blasting in the air. He was taking it slow, now that he had lost his pedestrian pursuers. The important thing now was to be careful.  
  
After winding his way up and down streets, Heero got to the space port. And he froze.  
  
The spaceport was surrounded by police cars, each one not an inch away from the other, with at least twice the number officers patrolling them.  
  
"Don't move."   
  
Heero put his hands up, feeling the cool barrel of a gun pressed against his neck. A pair of handcuffs snapped against his wrists.  
  
"Odin Lowe, you are under arrest for the murder of Cat Winner."   
  
Heero was spun around then, and found himself staring at his jailer. An emerald green eye peered out at him from beneath long brown bangs.  
  
"I didn't do it."  
  
"That's for the courts to decide, Mr. Lowe."  
  
Heero didn't say anything else as he was led to a waiting police car, the officer reading him his Miranda rights.   
  
~tbc~  
  



	4. Trowa gets involved

Chasing Impossibilities  
Part Four: Trowa Gets Involved  
  
  
Heero sat in the back of the police car as it drove down to the station. No lawyer would help him now, he was sure of it. There was no way he could win with all the evidence against him, and if he told his story they would think he was crazy.  
  
"I didn't do it."  
  
"I wouldn't say anything that would incriminate yourself, Mr. Lowe."  
  
The detective seemed familiar to Heero, but he couldn't place it. He debated his options inside his head, a little depressed when he didn't come up with that many. "I was set up."  
  
"Really." The man seemed disinterested, almost patronizing even. "And who would do that?"  
  
"I don't know. I think maybe J."  
  
Triton looked up into the rearview mirror, staring at Heero. The guy didn't look crazy, but that didn't mean he wasn't a murderer. In fact, according to the evidence, it was almost certain that he was. "Yeah?"  
  
Heero looked back at Triton through the mirror, moving his hands slightly in the cuffs. "I went to him this morning because I was having problems remembering things. He gave me a prescription. When I was going home my car was rammed into, I blacked out, and when I woke up I was in the bath tub in the motel, with the gun in my hand."  
  
"And why would J do all that?"  
  
Heero sat back, then remembered the pieces of paper in his pockets. He reached in with his fingers, pulling out two crumpled sheets. One of them was Cat's notes, the other J's prescription. "Cat found out something, and was about to tell me. But I was about to remember myself."  
  
Triton looked back at the papers Heero was holding, making a note to take them for evidence. They drove on for a little longer in silence. Triton focused on driving while Heero contemplated what to do next. Really, he didn't have anything to lose now, and he was almost grateful for this officer's disinterest. At least this way he got a way to speak.  
  
"Haven't you..." Heero swallowed, wondering if he should go through with this. "Haven't you ever gotten the feeling that there was something off about your life?"  
  
Triton raised an eyebrow. "I heard you've been having mental problems lately, Mr. Lowe."  
  
"Have you ever been to X-00198?"  
  
Triton frowned slightly at the subject change, wondering what Heero was playing at. "Of course."  
  
"Do you remember how you got there?"  
  
"I took a shuttle. How else would you get there?"  
  
"It's impossible. There are no shuttles going there. I don't think there ever were. I think some one's been tempering with our memories, and J knows what's going on. And I think the secret is on X-00198."  
  
"Do you realize how crazy you sound?" Triton swerved, exasperated, into the police station. But for some inexplicable reason, he didn't outright dismiss Heero's ramblings.  
  
"I'll prove it, if you take me to the colony."  
  
Triton scoffed at that. "Now I know you're crazy."  
  
Triton watched as other officers approached the car, pulling Heero out. He would be put into the cell until trial, probably without bail.   
  
Something was still unsettling Triton, though, and he stepped into his office. Some other officer had confiscated those papers Odin had been playing with and had left them on his desk, and Triton took a moment to look at them.  
  
The first one was full of nonsensical scribbling, but it looked familiar. Triton ruffled through the papers on his desk, coming up with something they had taken from Cat's office. The handwritings matched. Triton looked at the five letters at the top: J, G, O, H, S. The guy mentioned machines, lies, some person named Heero, and the colony Odin had bought up earlier. Triton looked at the other paper. A prescription. J's small signature was at the bottom, and it had express instructions to go to Dr. G's pharmaceuticals. G.  
  
Triton held one paper in each hand. Cat had mentioned G. J obviously knew a G. On a hunch, Triton called the station's medical department.  
  
"Allo."  
  
Triton rolled his eyes at the department head's casual nature. He had never really gotten used to it, though he had a good rapport with the man himself. "Milly. I have prescription here, for tri-oxyl dynamine. Know what it does?"  
  
"Oh, no." Triton could imagine Milly tossing back his excessively long platinum hair. "You can't get a prescription for that."  
  
"You can't?"  
  
"Most people don't even know what it is. Pharmacists wouldn't be able to stock it, and doctors can't prescribe it. It's an experimental drug gone bad. Nasty stuff."  
  
"What does it do?"  
  
"It messes up your head. You'd probably wake not knowing your own name."  
  
"Like amnesia."  
  
"Exactly. Except permanent, like."  
  
"Thanks."   
  
Triton hung up the phone, processing this new information. Odin had gone to get help for his memory problems, and J had given him an illegal prescription that would wipe his memory out completely. He ran a check through his computers on the other letters in Cat's note, and each one matched up with a doctor. And according to the records, J had never had any professional ties with G whatsoever, yet he had recommended him to Odin. It obviously didn't match up.  
  
His mind wondered back to Cat Winner and his note. Lies. And what had Odin said... they had been playing with their memories. Triton wondered why he was pursuing this train of thought at all... it was so ludicrous. Most people wouldn't even have considered it, wouldn't be investigating it. But there was something about the whole thing that he couldn't shake off.  
  
Triton turned back to his computer, typing in a few things. He remembered the time he had gone to X-00198. Strangely, he couldn't remember how he got there. He had assumed it was by shuttle... there was no other way, but he couldn't remember buying the tickets and he couldn't remember the ride. And he wondered, if he had had such a good time there, why he never felt to desire to go back. He called up the records of all the spaceports that served X-00198, surprised when he found none. He picked up the telephone, calling the port even as his fingers ran across the keyboard.  
  
"Hello, L2 spaceport."  
  
"Hi, I was wondering about the shuttles going into X-00198."  
  
Their was a pause, and Triton could hear the click clack of a keyboard. "Our shuttles don't go there. You'll have to take one out to L1, then to X-00198 from there."  
  
"Could you transfer my call to an L1 port?"  
  
"Oh. Okay."  
  
Triton waited as music came on, then he heard a click and a voice.  
  
"L1 spaceport, colony X-30004."  
  
"Hi, I wanted to know about the shuttles you have going to X-00198."  
  
"Um... it seems we don't have any."  
  
"Where can I find a shuttle going there?"  
  
There was more keyboard clicking before the voice came back. "All travel to that colony has been temporarily suspended."  
  
"Do you know why?"  
  
"Mmm... no idea, sir."  
  
"Do you know when the block out started, or when it will end?"  
  
"I'm sorry, the records don't say."  
  
Triton hung up even as his eyes stayed in his computer screen. He had managed to get into the spaceport records for all of the tri colony area, and there had been never been any records of a flight into the colony.  
  
* * *  
  
Heero was jostled out of his cell, wondering where they were leading him. The handcuffs were slapped back on as he walked through the prison cells. Some of the other inmates watched, half interested, as the newbie left the area. He passed through drab gray corridors, finally being pushed into a seat. After shifting slightly in the hard metal chair, Odin looked up, surprised to see Max on the other side of a piece of glass.  
  
Max gestured at the telephone at the side of the glass, and Heero picked it up and held it to his ear.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hi."  
  
"You know, this is probably for the best."  
  
Heero nodded. He could see why Max felt that way. He wondered of Max would believe him when he told him what had been happening, what he had been discovering throughout the day. "You know I didn't do it."  
  
"I know. Our lawyer will be here soon, you don't need to worry."  
  
"Max, they won't believe me." Heero shifted again, preparing to explain. He lowered his voice so that the prison guards couldn't hear him. "J and some others have been changing our memories. Cat found out, so they killed him, then I was about to find out, so they set me up for his murder. But Max, everything we've known is a lie. Our memories, our lives, our marriage, it's all a lie."  
  
Max didn't know whether to be angry or depressed. He was silent for a little, and Odin wondered what he was going to say. He was staring off into the side of the glass as if something there was immensely fascinating, and then he reached out as if he could touch his spouse, fingers splayed against cool glass.   
  
"Odin. That time I met you, I can't believe that was a lie. I know that what I felt was not a lie. Emotions can't be implanted into your psyche." Max paused, drawing in a shuddering breath as he raised his eyes to meet Heero's. "You can't lie about love."  
  
Heero was lost. He subconsciously raised his hand to meet Max's, before he was jerked away by the guards, telephone falling onto the countertop. 


	5. The Trip to L1

Chasing Impossibilities  
Part Five: The Trip to L1  
  
  
Triton crept around the building. He couldn't believe he was doing it. He couldn't believe that he was listening to Odin's crazy story. But now he was back at the Riverside complex, trying to sneak into J's office. When he had been there earlier he didn't see any security cameras he had to worry about, but he knew the doctor lived right upstairs.  
  
Triton pulled a long, steel rod out of his pocket and stuck in into the door lock, moving it back and forth in an expert manner. Soon he heard a familiar click and pushed the door open. It was dark, as to be suspected, and he let his eyes assimilate to the change while he closed the door. In a little bit he could see fairly well with just the light from outside, and he moved toward J's office.  
  
He wasted no time in prying open the drawers, looking through the papers at the fastest rate he could. Surprisingly, he didn't find many files on the doctor's patients, and he wondered how the man got by with such little business. Still, it seemed like forever until he found anything he thought was related to his situation. It was a thin sheath of papers stuck in a manilla folder. It was filled in long and short entries, handwritten and undated.  
  
  
Completed construction of the device based on O's changes to the prototype. Will effectively utilize the electromagnetic net naturally induced by the colonies...  
  
  
There was scientific information Triton didn't understand, but he deduced that it was about the device J had built with his colleagues.  
  
  
Called in the gundam pilots to test, everything successful so far. Will employ on Earth and the rest of the colonies.  
  
Everything is going according to plan. No one has any memory of the gundams or the war. No one has yet to react negatively to the mind alteration.  
  
Quatre Winner suspects something is wrong. Cause suspected to be empathic abilities. Will wait and see if problem persists.  
  
Winner knows somehow. Will no doubt try to contact the other pilots. He must be taken care of before that happens, will have to try again.  
  
Heero Yuy has come in for sudden memory loss. Suspect his real memories will come back rather than the mechanically implanted memories.  
  
  
Triton's head flew up as he heard a noise from above him, having no doubt that it was J. He held his breath as J moved around, but jumped off the seat when he heard the footsteps coming down towards him. J must be on the staircase. He dropped the papers back in the desk, running out of the building as quickly as he could without making any noise. He closed the door, jarring the lock pick once so that it locked itself, and thanked god he had those skills before he ran to his car and drove off.  
  
* * *  
  
J walked down the steps. It was obvious to him that some one had just run out of his home, he just didn't know who. Or more specifically, he just didn't know which of the gundam pilots had been there.  
  
He walked to his office, scanning the area. Finally, he walked over to his desk, opening the bottom drawer. His reports on the memory device was on top. He had placed them in the bottom.  
  
J tapped his fingers along the desk, thinking, and coming up with a conclusion. It must have been Trowa.   
  
* * *  
  
Everything was falling apart. The most ridiculous thing was that that morning everything had been fine. Max closed his eyes, trying to forget and examine the events of the last twenty-four hours at the same time. He was sitting on a bench a few blocks away from the police station, waiting for the bus to get there so he could go home.  
  
He couldn't believe Odin. Maybe he was crazy, he didn't know any more... no. No, Odin had seemed fine, despite what he had been saying.  
  
He just wished he knew what was going on. The lack of knowledge, the lack of control, was killing him. He just wanted everything to be normal again. He just wanted a normal life.  
  
A noise sounded behind him, and Max spun around, cursing his nerves that evening. There was no one there. Max turned around again, facing the street, a little unnerved now. He realized for the first time how empty this area was. Then, before he knew it, an arm had moved around his head and a wet cloth held against his nose and mouth. Then his world went black.  
  
* * *  
  
Triton skidded into the parking lot of the police building, mind racing. Gundam... Quatre... Heero... those words sounded so familiar. Even the thought of war seemed familiar to him, even though he knew he had never experienced it. Or rather, Triton Bloom had never experienced it. The idea still would have seemed ludicrous, except that it kept tugging at his mind, and he knew the familiarity had to mean something. It was as if there was a dark cloud at the back of his mind, hiding something. It was just a presence, sitting there, telling him that everything he knew was wrong. And he knew it hadn't just developed today; it hung on all his memories.  
  
But he had a purpose now. Triton walked through the police building with his usual confidence, ignoring the hustle and bustle of his peers and coworkers. He eventually ended up in the cell holding area, stopping in front of the guard in charge of Odin's wing.  
  
The guard stood at attention, nodding to his superior. "Can I help you, Mr. Bloom?"  
  
"Go ahead and take a break, I'll take care of things here."  
  
The man nodded to his superior before leaving. Triton watched as he disappeared around the corner before entering the corridor, marching past all the cells until he stopped in front of Odin's. The other man was seated on his cot, back against the wall, head bent slightly back and eyes closed.  
  
"Heero?" For some reason, Triton wasn't surprised when Odin looked up at that name. "Get up. We're going to that colony."  
  
* * *  
  
"So. What's with the change of heart?"  
  
Triton looked over at Heero as they sped to the spaceport. "You were right. I think. J and some others built a machine to change every one's memories, but it didn't work with you or Quatre for some reason."  
  
"And the machine's on the colony."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"And how do you propose we get there?"  
  
Triton turned sharply, coming to a sudden stop in the spaceport parking lot. He untied his seatbelt as he stared at Heero. "Do you know how to pilot a shuttle?"  
  
Heero blinked. Odin Lowe had been a computer geek. His artificial memories all showed him behind a computer, working on encryption or software or what-not. He had never done anything remotely like piloting a shuttle. "Sure."  
  
The two of the snuck into the port fairly easily. Granted, no one was looking for them yet. The traffic in the port was fairly moderate, no one traveling so late at night. They scouted around the port, Triton playing close attention to the computer and information screen while Heero scouted security. They met together after only a few minutes of the reconnaissance.   
  
"The security's pretty light. There are guards at the entrances to the port and at the security checkpoints, but only workers near the shuttles, and even that's not bad."  
  
Triton nodded. "See that gate over there? There's a shuttle that won't be leaving for an hour."  
  
The two made their way over to the gate, easing inside with stealthy grace. Triton drew out his gun, creeping towards the one man that was there. The worker was looking over the machinery of the engine, and it didn't take long for Triton to dispatch him. Just one well-placed hit with the butt of the gun and he was out of the way.  
  
Heero pulled open the door of shuttle, striding inside and towards the cockpit. As long as he didn't think about it too hard things seemed to come to him with a natural ease, and it took him less than a minute to start the shuttle. He was vaguely aware of Triton sliding into the seat behind him.  
  
"Well." Triton's voice was dry, unamused. "That was easier than I had expected."  
  
Heero put the shuttle into movement, rolling it down the runway. Workers dived out of the way while staff off to the sides were yelling at them. The control tower tried to make contact, something Heero put a stop to by cutting off communications. In no time they were off, launching into space and towards X-00198.   
  
"Damn." Heero cursed as he looked at the control panel, and Trowa looked down to see what was the matter. The gas tank was only three fourths full.  
  
"Do you think we can make it?"  
  
Heero ran through the calculations in his head, checking them with the measurements in the computer. "Barely."  
  
There were a few nervous moments then, before they exited the colony outer hull, where they wondered if any one would be sent after them. Everything went wall, fortunately, and soon Heero set the course in the shuttle mainframe and they were coasting on autopilot.  
  
"What do you think they were hiding?"  
  
"What?" Heero looked up as Triton broke their tense silence before shrugging it off. "Who knows, maybe we were just a science experiment."  
  
"Then what were the gundams?"  
  
Another image flashed in Heero's head, and he recognized it from one he had before. A huge mechanical figure, huge and white, lay on a stretch of metal, right next to a matching black machine. Then the image left his head. "I'm not sure."  
  
Triton shifted back in his seat, closing his eyes. It would be two hours before they reached the colony, and he didn't mind a little nap before they got there. 


	6. Truth

Chasing Impossibilities  
Part Six: Truth  
  
  
"Triton. Triton, wake up."  
  
Triton blinked open his eyes, not expecting to see space in front of him. He had assumed Heero would have waited until they got there before waking him... "What happened?"  
  
"There's an gravitational shield around the colony. There's no way to get on it."  
  
Triton let the impossibility of the situation sink into his head. There was no way onto the colony. They had no gas. "What the hell are we going to do?"  
  
"That's why I woke you up- help me out."  
  
Triton looked over what Heero was doing, and saw that he was running a check over the colony, looking for any weak spots in the shield. It took them ten minutes before Heero's arm shot out across Triton, reaching in front of the other boy to point somewhere on the screen.  
  
"There. There's a station in orbit around the colony, and it's exactly the same width as the shield. The doctors probably use it to get in and out."  
  
Triton nodded, taking over the controls instinctually. He turned the shuttle towards the location, sparing a glance at the fuel gauge. It was beyond empty... they were coasting already. He steered the ship for about five minutes before the handle started getting jerky, and he wound up using both his hands to keep the thing from veering off course. The shuttle kept on track, though, and soon the orbiting station was right in front of him.  
  
"Shit!" Triton pushed the steering wheel forward as the thing lost control, pushing down on the accelerator, hoping they made it in time. Then, in just one instant, he was jerked from the steering wheel as it seemingly flew out of his hands. The two men were slammed back into their chairs as the shuttle spiraled out of the control, hoping for a collision, because at least that meant they wouldn't be stuck floating around space. They got what they wanted: the shuttle slamming against the metal of the station, and the nose was smashed as they kept crashing. It seemed like forever until they stopped, and when Triton opened his eyes he was acing a wall of twisted metal. The shuttle was totaled. "I can't believe we're still alive."  
  
Heero quickly got out of the position he had taken when bracing for the shock. It was almost completely dark inside the shuttle now, and they couldn't see more than a foot in front of them. Triton followed Heero as he made his way towards the shuttle door.  
  
"Give me a hand. It's stuck."  
  
Triton crept over to the other side of the door, pulling with Heero. It took them ten minutes to pry the things open, leaving both their hands raw from the exertion. Triton winced looking at them as they jumped out, making the five foot fall to the ground without event. The room they were in was huge, and judging from the size of the station from outside it couldn't have contained more than three of these rooms.  
  
Heero looked back at the damage they had caused. The station had obviously been rigged with the standard safety precautions. That and a lot of luck explained why they were still alive right now. The entrance was designed to fall away at any sign of forceful impact, and a gate designed to seal off any broken area in the event of crash.   
  
There was an echo in the room, and their footsteps were louder than Heero would have liked. Still, Heero thought there probably weren't any people in the station. Probably being the key word.  
  
They made their way into the second room, still wary of any unexpected surprises. It was just as big as the first. There was a path down the middle of it that lead to what Heero assumed was the third and last room, with scrap metal piled on the sides. Triton walked over to the right, inspecting the chunks of metals.  
  
"Hey. These are machines."  
  
Heero walked over towards the other man. The hulks looked familiar, then he suddenly realized what they were. "They're gundams."  
  
"What?"  
  
Heero walked past a piece of what must have been a head, towards a decimated cockpit area. "They're torn apart and wrecked, but I'm sure of it. They're gundams."  
  
Triton watched as Heero climbed up onto the thing, jumping into a hole in the middle of it. He grabbed onto the metal, making the trek up himself, just in time to see the innards of the machine light up.  
  
"This one's even still functional. Kind of."  
  
Triton looked down into the hole, surprised to see Heero laying down in a seat. Screens flared in front of the prone boy, and Triton was even more shocked when his face appeared in one of them.  
  
"Trowa Barton, pilot 03. The date is May 23rd, AC 195. Five gundam pilots have been confirmed as of today. Whether they are friend or foe is unknown and irrelevant. I have received mission orders from O to destroy the Geneva Oz base; all other issues are secondary until I complete that task."  
  
Triton blinked at the cool, analytical fifteen-year-old that had just fuzzed out of the screen, before another video came on.  
  
"Trowa Barton, pilot 03. The date is May 31st, AC 195. I have made contact with Quatre Raberba Winner, pilot 03 of the gundam Sandrock. He helped to repair Heavyarms and offered me accommodations, and seems to be fighting the same war as I am. I have received no word from the scientists regarding the other pilots."  
  
The screen blinked away, for longer this time, before showing the last surviving video.  
  
"Trowa Barton, pilot 03. The date is December 20th, AC 195. All five gundam pilots are on Peacemillion. We expect the final battle will occur soon; soon, the war will be over, and hopefully, we will have won."  
  
The screen fizzled out, for good this time, and Heero shut off the cockpit. He moved upwards, sitting on the edge of the machine with Triton.  
  
"So... I was a gundam pilot."  
  
Heero nodded.  
  
"You were a gundam pilot."  
  
"I'm pretty sure."  
  
"And when the war was done, the scientists, J, G, O, H, and S, wiped out the war from every one's memories, using some... machine, and gave them all new lives."  
  
"Well done, my boy. Though I expected nothing less from two of our proteges."  
  
Trowa and Heero turned around at the foreign voice, amazed that they had not hear any one enter. They leaped off of the gun as they saw J standing there, Heero drawing out Trowa's gun even as they were in the air, his reflexes unnaturally sharp.  
  
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."  
  
Another man, probably hired help, came out of the shadows, and Heero saw that he was carrying Max's unconscious body, a knife pressed against the man's throat.  
  
"You know, we did this all for you. For the citizens. We gave you all a life without war. We even let you keep your friends, your relative identities."  
  
"You gave us a lie."  
  
"Does it matter? How would it have been any different than any other life, if you had believed in it? And what will you do with the machine, once you get there?"  
  
Both Heero and Trowa had to admit the man had a point. But they had come this far, and they would decide what to do when the time came.  
  
"Now we'll have to take care of your memories, as well as change the memory of any one who knows you. We've already erased Duo's mind again." J gestured over at the limp boy, still held captive. "Why I'm going through so much trouble I'm not sure; it would be so much easier to just kill you all. Now come along and I won't kill Duo."  
  
"Go ahead." Heero swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. "After all, he's not really my husband."  
  
J grinned, motioning at the other man, who then pressed the knife a little tighter against Duo's flesh. That moment, Heero forgot about his earlier convictions, about how Duo really didn't mean anything. The only thought that ran through his head was that Duo was in trouble, and he couldn't let Duo die. He dived at the man with superhuman speeds, knocking him away from the braided man and firing two shots into his body as they both hit the floor. He rolled off the man instantly, turning just in time to see J reach for his gun, and pulled the trigger three more times. When all was said and done, J and the stranger were laying half dead on the floor. They would be gone in mere minutes.  
  
Trowa jogged over to Heero. "Are you okay?"  
  
"Yeah." Heero looked over at Duo, confused. Had it been the falsely implanted memories that made him save the man, or something more. He shook his head, remembering J's earlier words, realizing it didn't matter. Duo's memories had been wiped out. He wouldn't have the same feelings; he wouldn't love him anymore.  
  
Heero picked up the singer, heading to the third room. Trowa followed behind him. As they both expected, there were short range galaxy transportation transports lined against the wall of the room. Heero opened the door to one, placing Duo inside.  
  
"What are you going to do with him?"  
  
Heero shrugged. "Send him to the nearest colony."  
  
"And that's it?"  
  
"What else am I supposed to do? He won't remember me when he wakes up." Heero finished typing in the destination to the machine, leaning down to brush Duo's bangs out of his face. He wanted to look at him one last time, to file the image away in memory. Finally, he closed the door and sent the unit off into space.  
  
In the meantime, Trowa had secured a two person transport, and had already told it to take them to the colony. "Ready?"  
  
Heero nodded, hopping inside with the other man. "Yeah."  
  
As soon as they were both secured the transport door closed behind them and they started spiraling softly down towards the colony. Heero looked out the window as the fell through one of the colony receivers, taking in the beauty of the artificial beach. In the middle of the sand, right where they were landing, stood a huge device that resembled a satellite dish. They had an easy landing, minimal impact, and they soon found themselves climbing out of the pod and walking towards the supercomputer that controlled the device.  
  
Heero kneeled down in front of the c.p.u., tracing fingers around the monitor.  
  
"I never... I never thought it would have come to this. Yesterday morning, all I wanted was a solution to my memory problems. I never imagined my life would weave itself into such a complex web. I never imagined I would be in this situation. And to think, less than twenty-four hours ago, I was just a normal person." Heero swallowed, moving a hand to turn on the machine. "I think, maybe, I would have been better off if I hadn't started to remember my previous life."  
  
Trowa shrugged at the monologue. "I can't say I want to remember my life in the war; I can understand what the scientists were trying to do. Bloodshed is not an easy thing to live with. But it doesn't matter; fate led us here, and now we have to figure out what we're supposed to do."  
  
Heero nodded, reading through the text that ran rapidly over the screen. He could read lives in the code, the lives of every single person that could be accounted for in the galaxy, and marveled at the fact that this machine could create such an intricate network of stories and identities. Not only that, the machine could account for millions of various factors, such as where a person was located when it was activated, what colonies were inhabited and active, even the personality of every person living. It was as if the scientists found a way to plot destiny out into mathematical equations.  
  
"Do you think Duo and I were lovers before the machine?"  
  
"Does it matter?"  
  
Heero realized, then, that it really didn't. "I don't think we should change anything. We're not here to play God. And even if we could give every one their former lives back, I don't know if we should."  
  
"I agree, somewhat. But the fact is, you are wanted for the murder of Cat Winner. And there's a whole colony here that is both entrenched and hidden in the peoples' minds. We should start it again, one last time, let it take care of those details, let it put new, completely random memories inside every one's head. Fate will sort everything out afterwards. But I think that after, this thing should be destroyed."  
  
"Yeah." Heero read over the machine's memory, reading how to do exactly that. He smiled, sadly, as he put in the commands. "It will activate in thirty minutes, and self destruct once the process is complete. It should take four hours. Every one will fall asleep during that time."  
  
Trowa nodded. "I suggest we get ourselves off this colony, then."  
  
They walked over to the fallen pod, starting it up again to take them to the next colony. When they got there, they had just enough time to get out onto the sand before they were claimed by a deep slumber.  
  
"Duo..." Heero whispered, as he drifted off, "... sayonara... "  



	7. Epilogue

Chasing Impossibilities  
Epilogue  
  
  
When Heero woke up, he had all his memories. The machine hadn't worked on him. He didn't know whether to be happy or disappointed; at any rate, he wasn't surprised. After all, the machine hadn't worked on him the first time either, not really.  
  
Trowa wasn't anywhere near him, and he wondered where the other man was. He decided it didn't matter, though. If they were meant to meet again, they would.   
  
Heero wondered how long he had been asleep. He had obviously given Trowa enough time to leave. But then, he hadn't had any sleep over the last day, and had spent half of it running from something or another. He didn't begrudge himself his nap. He lifted himself up off the sand, making his way to the boardwalk. A clock there proclaimed the time to be ten am. He had been asleep for six hours.  
  
Heero climbed up the steps to the boardwalk, intent on finding a motel, when a lone figure caught his eye. A man was standing at the end of the pier, looking out into the ocean, chestnut hair blowing in the wind behind him.  
  
* * *  
  
Duo Lowe, Jr. slowly opened his eyes, blinking at the white light blinding his eyes. He realized it was the sun, and he was laying on a park bench. He wondered how he got there, chalked it up to getting drunk last night, and pushed himself into a sitting position. He looked down at his watch. Eight am. He was late to his job... not like he enjoyed it. Selling tickets at some L1 bus stop was definitely not his idea of a dream job.  
  
Duo sighed, then smiled. Fuck it. He could get a new job. But first he wanted a break. He stood up as a bus neared, smirking at the slight irony of the situation, and rode it to the beach. For some reason, he wanted to see the water. He got there about one hour later, and took to combing the sand and tidal pools. There was nothing interesting, though, not in the colonies' oceans. No annoying creatures there. Another hour saw him walking towards the end of a pier, and he just stared out into the ocean.  
  
It was so beautiful. It looked so vast, so completely unmarred by anything.  
  
"Excuse me."  
  
Duo turned around, finding himself staring into a pair of very pretty Prussian blue eyes. The man they were attached to wasn't bad either. And then, something just sparked. "Hello."  
  
"I was just..." Heero gestured to the town they could see in the distance, the one Duo had just walked from. "Is that Mungo City?"  
  
"Yes, it is." Duo expected the stranger to walk away, but he didn't. They found themselves staring at each other for a little bit before the man broke the silence.  
  
"What's your name?"  
  
"Duo Lowe." Duo grinned. "Junior."  
  
Heero inwardly started. Duo had taken his name. "My name is Heero Yuy."  
  
"Heero." Duo rolled the 'r' around on his tongue, saying the name as if he were tasting it for the first time and savoring every moment.  
  
"Duo." Heero took a tiny step towards the other man, hopeful. "Do you believe in magic?"  
  
Duo looked out into the ocean for just a moment, as if contemplating it, before turning back to Heero. He flashed him that disarming, enchanting smile that he had nearly forgotten, eyes glinting amaryllis in the post dawn light.   
  
"Yeah, I do. Voodoo."  
  
  
~owari~  



End file.
